Anger is a natural human emotion that appears early in life. Although we often think of it as something negative, anger actually provides us with important information about ourselves. From a psychodynamic point of view, anger is not only a reaction to what is happening right now. It is also shaped by our past, our relationships, and deeper emotional experiences that may not be fully conscious.
Why Do We Feel Angry?
At its core, anger helps protect us. It shows that our boundaries have been crossed, our needs ignored, or something important feels threatened. Anger can motivate us to speak up, set limits, or defend ourselves.
What Happens Inside When We Feel Anger?
Sometimes anger is just the surface. Underneath, there may be other feelings—sadness, fear, shame, or helplessness—that are harder to face. Our mind may use anger as a way to avoid experiencing these more painful emotions.
How Childhood Shapes Anger
The way caregivers responded to our anger when we were children has a big influence on how we handle this emotion today. If anger was punished, dismissed, or mocked, we may struggle to express it safely as adults. Unresolved childhood anger can show up in adult relationships—through emotional outbursts, shutting down, or directing anger toward the wrong people.
Anger in Relationships
Anger often appears when something important in a relationship does not feel right—when we feel hurt, overlooked, or treated unfairly. Sometimes we use anger to protect ourselves from feeling vulnerable or dependent on others.
What Can Anger Teach Us?
Instead of viewing anger as something “bad,” we can see it as a useful signal. It can lead us to understand our own needs, boundaries, and emotional wounds. In therapy, anger is an important guide: it helps uncover deeper experiences that need attention and healing.
The goal is not to eliminate anger, but to understand it—and to learn how to express it in a healthy, constructive way.